If you, too, hate drama, you may wish to skip this post.
Now that the warning is out of the way....
Some of you might recall a quiz I recently took, whose results (like many a quiz I and, let's face it, everyone reading this has done) are posted to one's Facebook wall. I'm fairly certain that at least a few eyebrows were raised by this quiz, most likely people who knew me as the quiet, shy sort in high school. (I'm still pretty quiet and pretty shy, but as they say, it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.)
Somebody was offended by it.
Honestly, I don't blame people for being offended by things they see on the internet. There's a lot of offensive stuff out there. Generally, though, the things you see on Facebook are pretty tame. There are things that are slightly risque, and I'll admit that this quiz edged up to that line. But it's (apparently) within Facebook guidelines, and I don't think it crossed them.
It doesn't bother me that someone was offended by it. But somebody -- you know who you are -- felt the need to go through two intermediaries, who neither needed nor wanted to be pulled into the middle, instead of having the guts to tell me themselves. I have a big problem with that.
That is passive aggressive bullshit.
If any person is offended by something they see here, they can send me a private Facebook message. I may or may not take it down, but I will respect the person for coming directly to me. (That includes you-know-who-you-are. No hard feelings, if you'll just click on the "Send Chris a Message" link right there below my smiling face. If you don't, and keep trying to bring other people in, I'll remember it the next time I see you.)
To those who have, unwittingly and unwillingly, been pulled into the middle, I apologize to you for being made uncomfortable, and forgive you for being involved. I don't think it was right that That Person had to go through you to get to me, when That Person could have done it themselves. If anyone reading this gets any grief from That Person over this, please, have That Person contact me directly. As far as I'm concerned, this is between me and That Person, and I consider it to have come directly from That Person.
To That Person: I understand -- and I may have this wrong, given that it comes to me through what amounts to a game of telephone -- that you are concerned because children might see it. That's a fair concern in general, I'll grant. However, I'll point out Facebook's privacy policy, that you (and I, and everyone else here) agreed to when you joined:
Children Under Age 13
Facebook does not knowingly collect or solicit personal information from anyone under the age of 13 or knowingly allow such persons to register. If you are under 13, please do not attempt to register for Facebook or send any information about yourself to us, including your name, address, telephone number, or email address. No one under age 13 may provide any personal information to or on Facebook. In the event that we learn that we have collected personal information from a child under age 13 without verification of parental consent, we will delete that information as quickly as possible. If you believe that we might have any information from or about a child under 13, please contact us through the form on our privacy help page.
Children Between the Ages of 13 and 18
We recommend that minors 13 years of age or older ask their parents for permission before sending any information about themselves to anyone over the Internet.
From Facebook's safety policy:
Children under 13 years old are not permitted access to Facebook. In addition, parents of children 13 years and older should consider whether their child should be supervised during the child's use of the Facebook site.
Despite Facebook's safety and privacy controls, Facebook cannot guarantee that the site is entirely free of illegal, offensive, pornographic or otherwise inappropriate material, or that its members will not encounter inappropriate or illegal conduct from other members. Consequently, you may encounter such content and conduct.
And, a few other choice bits from the terms of service, that I have a feeling may be extremely applicable here:
Facebook users provide their real names and information, and we need your help to keep it that way. Here are some commitments you make to us relating to registering and maintaining the security of your account:
1. You will not provide any false personal information on Facebook, or create an account for anyone other than yourself without permission.
3. You will not use Facebook if you are under 13.
6. You will not share your password, let anyone else access your account, or do anything else that might jeopardize the security of your account.
7. You will not transfer your account to anyone without first getting our written permission.
With all of that said, I'm not going to take the posting down. Period, exclamation mark, end of story. This is my Facebook account, for me to use to express myself. I reasonably expect that kids aren't going to see the things I have up here, and I act accordingly. If it matters, I don't think the posting in question is harmful to the 13-17 age group -- but if you, as a parent do, you need to supervise them. I don't knowingly have people under the age of 18 on my friends list, for good reason. I believe that if children are on Facebook, they need to be supervised, and if they're not it's not my fault but their parents'. I supervise my own child; I don't let him roam around freely. I'm sitting right next to him every time he is online. You (you know who you are) goddamn well need to do the same.
Enough drama.
